God's Plan, Not Ours

God works in mysterious ways.

If you had asked me a month ago during my unemployment what job I would most want to do, I would have said "Veterinarian Assistant" without batting an eye.
Where am I now? Well, I'm not in a veterinary clinic, that's for sure.

At the beginning of summer I left my job of nearly 2 years working as a cashier at Hobby Lobby. While I thoroughly enjoyed taking the summer off of working, I soon realized that it was time to get back to work. For the past couple months I looked hard for a job in the veterinary field. I dropped off applications to every place in or around Petoskey. I dropped in often to ask if they were hiring and watched online ads constantly, hoping to find a job at one that didn't require experience or college education in that field. Nothing came up.

But something strange started happening: every time I was online and scrolling through the Help Wanted ads, I noticed just how many ads there were jobs in the assisted living field. Now you need to understand something about me: my entire life I have always said, that if there is one job I just couldn't do, it was nursing or working with the very elderly in a facility.

I think God smiled and shook His head every time I said that.

I realized that I felt drawn towards those ads, for some reason. "Is this You, Lord?", I wondered. I began praying about it daily. I was afraid that He wanted me in that line of work, and that He wouldn't give me my life's desire of working with animals. I stressed and worried and asked Him that it wouldn't be His plan for me. I played tug-of-war with God for a while, and then one day I realized that I was fighting against God to have my way. MY way. So I looked heavenward, surrendered my strong will, and said "Well, Lord, if you want me in that line of work, I will go."

I applied at a two different facilities, had 2 interviews, and was hired at Mallard Cove Senior Living of Petoskey as the mid-shift, working four ten-hour days a week, and in exactly the spot that I always refused to be in.

Am I living my dream? No................ and yes. I'm in my second week at Mallard Cove, and while I'm not helping sick animals or fan-girling over fluffy puppies, I am living out the dream God has for me, for as long as He wants me to.

The cons so far? : Training was hard and overwhelming. I went home crying hard the first day, because I just couldn't emotionally and mentally handle seeing our elderly in the states of health most of them are in, knowing that they will not get better. It was a kind of culture-shock for me. I felt embarrassment for them when I had to observe bathroom assistance and showers, and my heart broke every time I interacted with one with Alzheimer's and dementia.  I wanted to quit my first week, but knew that I should give it more time. I asked the Lord that if He really wanted me there, to help me see this job through His eyes. He did, and I started my second week with a better perspective.

This past week and a half, I have observed bathroom breaks, showers, and a catheterization. I've ran around like crazy during breakfast, taking down meal orders, running food out, busing tables, and doing tons of dishes. I've had a migraine practically every day from having my meal and sleep schedule overthrown by sudden changes of working full time and the stresses of a new job. I've had to step, no leap, out of my comfort zone in huge ways. I've been kneeled under a table scraping chewed scrambled egg off the floor from a resident who has trouble feeding herself.

But in spite of these things, I have seen and experience good things. I have felt the grateful warm grasp of a thin hand on mine when I serve breakfast with a smile. I have seen the mischievous twinkle in wrinkle-framed eyes when I get teased good-naturedly for being the "new girl". I've learned that elderly people who don't remember where they are or who you are are every bit loved by God and important as those who are the greatest minds of our time. Our elderly were once as we are: young, full of dreams and wonder, going about their days and not giving much thought to when they only have so many days left.

Is this job glamorous? No.
Is it comfortable? No.
Is it frustrating? At times.
Is my job worth getting out of my comfort zone? YES, because I have the privilege of serving my Lord through taking care of those close and dear to His heart, for He cares about them just as much as He does us. A lot of people see "old people" with things like dementia and other handicaps and want nothing to with them. They don't want to get involved and it's too uncomfortable and frustrating to deal with them. I know because I used to think like that, and it's still something I have to guard against falling back into. The right thing to do is never easy, but in the end it is so worth it.

Jesus said in Matthew 25:34-40 -

"Then the King will say to those on His right hand, 

'Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave me drink; 

I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you visited Me.'

Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed You,

or thirsty and give You a drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, 

or naked and clothe you? Or when did we see you sick, or in prison, and come to You?'

And the King will answer and say to them, 

'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, 

you did it to Me.' "

Jesus is saying that whenever we help the hungry, thirsty, strangers, poor, sick, etc., and we help them in His Name, it is as though we are doing the deeds unto Him, the Lord. 

So next time you are in line in a store, and there is an older person having trouble with their money, or you have one as a customer at your job and they don't understand your explaining of company rules, or you are talking to a senior and they start telling you the same story for the 50th time, I challenge you: Have patience. Let them be slow. You may be in a hurry, but you can't make them go faster. They need understanding, not frustrated attitude, because most likely they can't do anything about the things that irritate you. And you may be in their place one day, and you will want that kind word and understanding attitude from those you interact with. Be compassionate. 

If you read this whole post, I thank you. If you not only read it but took it to heart, I thank you tremendously. Let's try to make a difference in the world by how we interact with our elderly! Your kindness and patience may be all that they get for that day, or for the rest of their days....

In Him, 

~Shannon

When Good Things Fall Apart

         
          "Why, God? Why did you allow that to happen?....... Why?" I stared searchingly into the cloud-spotted sky and uttered these questions, desperate for an answer. A lingering winter chill remained in the air, the wind blowing it gently in my face. New tiny leaves quivered in the breeze, one of the only signs of spring that had come. And I stood there. And I asked, "Why?"
          As some of you may know(mostly if you've read my previous blog posts), I went through the hardest time of my life 3 1/2 years ago when I became very sick with stomach ulcers. The ulcers themselves might not have been very hard to cure, or have taken as long as it did, but mix that with a teenage girl with anxiety problems and you have over 2 years of treatment and recovery. And for a girl with plans and dreams... I felt like my world had ended, before my life even had a chance to begin.
          At the time I was involved in one of the most life-changing things in my life -- my Purity Ring drama group. Because of them, a girl bent on women's equality and the right to do whatever she wanted, became a girl dedicated to living out God's plan for her as a young woman, and turned over her own dreams in to the Author's hand. This drama group played one of the most important roles in my life -- showing me how to live in God's will wholeheartedly. I spent 3 years of active involvement in that group, the best 3 years of my life, and I had plans for there to be a 4th.... But God had other plans.
          All Spring and Summer I had been slowly struggling with food. My stomach would hurt after eating, and so I began eating less and less, seeing how much I could get by without. I had anxiety about this, and it also got channeled into my social life. I began to feel sick to my stomach before leaving my house to hang out with friends or go to church. Then I started throwing up. My mother then noticed something was wrong, and I was taken to the doctor, who believed I was anorexic. I insisted I was not. I have never had any problems with my body image that would cause me to not eat, I told her. Finally she said if it wasn't anorexia, then my symptoms indicated it must be stomach ulcers, and she would treat me as a patient of such. It would be a long process, I would need bed rest and a diet of the lightest, easiest foods(if I could hold them down), and most importantly, I needed to have a good perspective and not stress. But for a teenage girl with anxiety problems(already), it broke me. I sunk to the lowest pit of depression and hopelessness I have ever experienced, which made the ulcer treatment take much longer than it should have, which resulted in over 2 years of treatment and recovery, which meant........ All of my dreams were crushed in the dirt, including my 4th year of Purity Ring drama group, something that might seem insignificant by comparison, but my heart and love for that group was and is so strong, that it just tore me apart when I realized I had to call it quits. Rejoining in the future was also out of the question -- I would be too old. My 4th year would have been my last, as I was turning 19 that fall. My heart felt shattered in pieces, and sank into darkness.
          Fast forward many months, and I was standing on the front porch of my house, staring into that sky, asking "Why?". I had just returned home from visiting my drama group after not leaving my house all winter and fall(except for doctor appointments and tests). God had been teaching me a LOT in that time, about trusting Him and his plan for me (- See my post "God Knows Best" -) and I had finally come to a place of peacefulness about my situation, and I had hope for my future with my God who saved me. But when I visited my old friends and mentors, everything came flooding back -- the Purity lessons, the deep and meaningful talks, the auditions, rehearsals, play week, etc. And all at once I was overcame with feelings of deep sadness and frustration. I had been a part of something incredible, something life-changing and beautiful. Why had God pulled me out of it? Why? I had accomplished so much, made friends for the first time in my life, gained so many new experiences I never thought I would. How could God do this to me?
           And so I stood there, searching, tears streaming down my face, demanding an answer, as though I could command one to fall from the sky. I spoke those words, "Why, God? Why did you allow me to not be a part of that anymore? Why?" Suddenly a Voice spoke to me:

"I have something better for you to be a part of."

          I looked and there was no one around me. I was alone, yet I had heard His voice. "Something better??" I said. "What could You have for me that is better than my time spent in that group?" My question was not answered in the same way, and eventually I retreated to the warm inside of my

house, but I was left astounded. God's plan for me to be a part of Purity Ring was over, but He had a plan for my life that would be even better?! I was baffled, dumbstruck, speechless.... and thankful. So thankful. What love has our Father bestowed upon us! What great plans He has in store for us, if we would stop trying to write our own story! How wonderful God is! How wise, how merciful! His thoughts about us are numbered more than the grains of sand(Psalm 139:17-18), and we are never out of His sight! Praise Him! for He is sovereign over all!

          Yes, my 3 years in drama were the best years of my life, but you know what?........ my life has only just begun! And so has yours. Will you let Him have it?

~In His name,

          Shannon